Baby Brains

"Newborn babies...are very intent human beings struggling against very difficult circumstances to overcome blindness, deafness, and immobility. They are deadly serious and they should be. It is not easy or safe to be a newborn baby." -Glenn Doman

Sam is snuggly, cute, tiny, and strong, but he is also INTENT. When he is awake, he is trying hard to see and hear and roll over and poop and hold up his head and be fed at the right times. He is extremely serious about all these things...so much so that it cracks us up sometimes. It's gotta be hard to be a baby. We joke that Sam rolls over every morning, opens his eyes halfway, and says to himself, "GAH. I'm still a baby! Dangit."

Sometimes, this is how Sam feels about being a baby. (Usually, though, he's much more chill than this.) 

Below: Sam, being all chill with Uncle Eliot.

Babies learn by experience. The more they are shown, the more they can see. The more they are talked to, the more they can hear and understand. The more opportunities they have to move, the more they can move. 

Most babies get the hang of things naturally, just by being alive in the world. They learn to see light and dark right away, and every time the lights in the room go on and off, or the sun sets or rises, their little light reflexes get stimulated. Pretty soon, their pupils learn to adjust instantly to the change. Then, they can move on to the next step: seeing outlines. They work on that for a while. Then they can start to make out details. Later, they develop depth perception. And so on. It's a progression that happens by opportunity, as their brains grow with use. Same with walking, hearing, talking, communicating, and growing up in general. 

Before I go off and get all impersonal and geeky...the point is, what if I can provide extra opportunities for Sam to work on these things? Find out what he's working on and help him? Help him grow his brain by creating an environment in which he can use it more? Get into his world a little and help him to understand ours? 

I'm not a kid or baby expert. (Heck, I was the one on the delivery table telling the nurse, "You're going to have to tell me what to do, because I don't have a clue how to have a baby. I didn't make it past the first week of my childbirth class!") But I am reaaallly interested in baby development and learning, partly because my parents raised my brother and me on a fascinating program in which they intentionally worked with us to develop the skills that I'm talking about. We're not geniuses and we didn't go to Harvard or anything, but I think that our parents' work helped to cultivate in us a genuine curiosity in the world and a knowledge that learning meant something more than just pure "school."

But, school is helpful too, so when I was pregnant, I went to school in Philly for an intense week to study how early brain development works and how we can get in on that action with our babies. 

So I've been trying out some things on Sam, who is currently three months old. I'm planning to share them in subsequent blog posts.

First, though, a few qualifiers: 

1) I am not trying to create a superbaby Mozart who will write symphonies when he's two, go to Yale when he's twelve, and make his millions by sixteen. I just want him to love to learn, and learn easily. I want to cultivate curiosity in his life. And I want to be purposeful in helping his brain to grow...just as I am about helping his body to grow by feeding him (although if you hear him yell when he's hungry, you might think I starve the poor thing. I don't. Apparently it's a preemie thing to be immensely greedy about food.) 

2) Just because I am trying out certain ideas with our kid doesn't mean that if you're doing things differently with yours, I'm judging you by writing this. I just want to share a little bit of my life with you! I also want a platform to talk about our progress, what's working, and what's not. Also, I think that a lot of people (Jordan's parents, for instance) intuit these ideas and stimulate their babies' brains in similar ways without using specific techniques or activities from a child development textbook.

3) I take Sam very seriously. I have great respect for him as a human being made in the image of God and as a person with way more capacity for learning than I have now (baby brains grow FAST, dude). However, he is still a silly little squirt that we quite enjoy laughing at and blowing raspberries on, and part of me wants him to stay a squishy baby forever!

"Mommy. Stop with the sap and just GIVE ME ALL THE MILKS."

4) My baby didn't start out ahead of the game (if anything, he is considered six weeks behind for a newborn). My point is that I don't think my baby is smarter than anyone else's. I believe that babies in general are naturally born to be brilliant, curious learners; we don't enter a lottery and cross our fingers that we get an alert, interested kid. They're born with the spark already there, but the first one to three years is really important in keeping the spark alive. The question is, how? That's part of what I want to tackle on this blog. 

5) I'm not stressing myself or my family out over this stuff. If the activities aren't fun and happy and lighthearted...forget it. And it's okay if we have days where we sit on the couch and watch movies all day and I'm lucky if I shower and don't starve. But the things we've been doing ARE fun and easy, and I think Sam is a happier and healthier baby for it, and I have something to think about beyond just surviving until 5 pm when Jordan gets home and I have the option to make my escape to Target. Which is vital to my sanity, too.

Next up: Our visual program. *Rubs hands together.* Anyone still with me? 

The quote above and a lot of these ideas are from a book called "How Smart Is Your Baby?" Silly title, good book. You can get it on Amazon if you're interested. 

Daddy

I'm so grateful for the bond that these two share. When Sam was born, he was whisked away from us immediately, and Jordan was able to visit him in his incubator before I was. It's strange to say, but I'm immensely thankful that Jordan could be the first one at his side. I am pretty certain that it bonded them together in a particular way. And I could watch them hang out all day. 

The first Father's Day entailed naps and watching Netflix with Sam snoozing on Jordan's chest. No hullabaloo here, just a handmade card and a tiny gift wrapped in an old blueprint. And Sam, sawing logs there with us on the couch, while House made his rude and brilliant diagnosis from the TV screen. Yep, we're officially behind the times.

Photo by Eliot Scarpetti; edits by me

Sam's "Into the Wild" Nursery

When I was pregnant with Sam, I thought a TON about the possibilities for his room. I finally landed on the idea of an adventure-themed nursery with a modern flair and black and white accents. My goals were to design 1) a space that Sam would be able to see and enjoy from the time he was born, working off of the idea that babies can really only see strong contrast when they're tiny, and 2) a bright, grown-up space that I wouldn't mind hanging out in every day for the next year. My first step was to deal with our horribly cluttered junk room (I didn't even take a picture, it was so embarrassing) by selling stuff on Craigslist. Once I had tackled that gruesome project, I had a totally fresh canvas to start with. I'm very excited to finally share the finished product, which I worked on in fits and starts during naps after Sam came home. I had been so proud of being on track with my nine-month project timeline, so I definitely had some moments in my hospital bed in Florida, in labor six weeks early, thinking, "BUT THE ROOM ISN'T DONE!!" In the end, though, I fully enjoyed being able to put the finishing touches on Sam's room with him there, adorably snoozing in the crib, and me NOT being third-trimester-preggers.

We swapped out a ceiling fan for the white Ikea pendant and added a ceiling medallion from Home Depot to customize it a bit. The deer skull painting is from World Market. It's an unusual choice for a nursery, but I love the bold contrast in it and that it reminds me of Georgia O'Keefe's paintings, which I loved looking at as a kid. The Babyletto Hudson crib (my dream crib) was a top-secret team surprise from our moms after Sam was born, the clock and side table are from Target, and the "Venture Out" canvas print and pillow are from Urban Outfitters. 

My big splurge was the Graham glider from West Elm (okay, hugest splurge ever); my Craigslist selling binge helped to fund it, and then it went on sale on one of the Atlanta ice days and I risked my life to go pick it up (don't worry, it was actually just that purely rainy day when everyone freaked out for no reason). It's the most comfortable thing I've ever sat in, and I intend to keep it forever. I love that it would look good in any room of my house. The charcoal velvet curtains are from World Market, the lamp was thrifted, and the silver side table is a West Elm look-alike that I found in the scratch and dent section of TJ Maxx for a song (like, to the tune of twenty bucks). The ottoman was a $5 thrift find that I covered with an Ikea faux sheepskin. 

I've never attempted a gallery wall before, and I hated every minute of making it. I tried all the Pinterest tricks, and even though I traced it all out on kraft paper on the floor, I still rearranged it (and added and subtracted pieces) a hundred times and probably half destroyed the wall. But I'm FINALLY happy with it, and Sam loves it! He'll fixate on it while I'm changing him or holding him nearby. I'm especially happy with the two little round geometric doodads, which are just small embroidery hoops covered in felt, with tiny felt triangles stuck on to them. The dresser is from Ikea and the metal cart (our diaper station) is from World Market. The stereo is a must; we always have Spotify playlists going...everything from U2 to Mozart to Mark O'Connor. The zebra head was one of my first purchases; it was on clearance at Home Goods, probably because it was u-g-l-y, and I re-painted it.

I made the mountain pillow during Sam's second week home during an extra-long nap when I desperately needed to zone out and tackle a creative project. The monogrammed stuffed critter and the "Sam I am" burp cloth were handmade gifts from friends. 

The closet curtain is actually an Anthropologie duvet cover that I found years ago; it was on the sale rack, mis-priced for $14.99. I folded the top over to adjust the length and clipped it to the curtain rings. The animal hooks and "S" are also from Anthro, and Sam's great-grandmother painted the fun animal paintings on the door. Yes, those are miniscule John Deere boots on the shelf. 

I created a little grab-and-go "mom station" near the door for my favorite baby wrap and diaper bag. A girl's gotta do something to counteract the lumberjack vibes happening in this house! I'm outnumbered.

When Sam came home from the hospital, healthy and happy, after 20 days in the NICU, I hung up the "Venture Out" print and then laughed out loud. I never thought that our first adventure with our baby would be an emergency out-of-town birth, or that his first flight would be on a medical jet...but those are the gritty, real-life adventures, and they count just as much as visiting national parks, discovering our city, and exploring museums. Although I have high hopes that we have many of those sorts of adventures ahead, too.  :) 

So why am I here, anyway?

I've never thought of myself as a blogger. The word "blogger" conjures visions of two types of people in my mind: the geeky dude in a dimly lit basement, hunched over a laptop, typing out conspiracy theories and contradicting the mainstream media; and the hip twenty-something sporting oversized tortoiseshell glasses and an adorable tattoo and posting a plethora of outfit photos and cocktail recipes. (I realize that's terribly unfair.) Don't get me wrong...I am a sucker for a good conspiracy theory and cute outfits, and I'd call up Warby Parker in a heartbeat if I ever had a less-than-normal eye exam. And I may or may not have a secret Pinterest board of tattoos. However, whenever the subject of blogging has come up in conversation, I've gone on about how I'm way too scattered to be one of those "bloggers," how I don't enjoy taking pictures enough to be a legit blogger, and how about I'd rather be doing stuff than blogging about doing stuff. 

However.

I am planning to start blogging regularly. Here's why:

1) I want to document our adventures. And, boy, is this a year for adventures. (I've also started to enjoy taking pictures. :))

2) I want to post cute pictures of my adorable baby. I'm sorry, but it's true. I especially want our scattered family and friends to be able to keep up with us outside of Facebook. 

3) I've been doing some fun stuff, and sometimes it might be worth sharing. If I can share something creative I'm working on, and it gives someone else the spark to try something out of the ordinary, then I think that's worth the investment of time it takes to post it.

4) This is where is gets kinda weird. Bear with me here. I've embarked on a mission to help Sam grow his brain. For the last year, I have been geeking out over early brain development and how baby brains work, and the potential in the ideas I've been studying is very, very exciting. The basic idea behind it all is that the brain grows by use, and the younger you are, the faster it grows...and that there are tangible things you can do to help the little brains out in the process. So. I want to try some things out and then blog about our adventures and progress in areas like crawling, visual development, and listening. You might totally disagree with everything I'm saying, or conclude that I'm out of my mind, and that's okay! But I really want to say it anyway, in hopes that it will spark good conversation and maybe be helpful to someone somewhere. And I think it will challenge me to articulate what I'm doing and why. For those reasons, I am creating a tag on this blog called Baby Brain. 

Here's what I am NOT planning to do:

1) Be tied down to one theme or agenda. If I want to post a cocktail recipe one day and a conspiracy theory the next [month] and a discourse on the vestibular system the next...well, I will. Feel free to skip the posts that make your eyes glaze over, and just look at the cute pictures of Sam. :)

2) Post incessantly. 

3) Post selfies. Well...maybe one or two. 

Cool? Cool.